Following my previous piece on finding happiness I would now like to share my thoughts on a subject that is very close to my heart ... who is responsible for your happiness?
I have always been a great believer in taking responsibility for yourself. I know for some people this is an extremely scary idea. Fear of doing the wrong thing and having to deal with consequences stops some people before they even begin.
For those of you who feel like this, I understand, quite well because I have felt the same fear. I have found myself in unfamiliar situations and yes it is scary, but then I stop, take a breath and I think about my choices.
I could let life just happen, I could let the situation or others take the lead and I could follow or I could take an active role and have a say in things that affect my life.
When I think about these two scenarios, one thought always comes to mind;
Do I want to put the responsibility for my happiness in the hands of others?
Well that could be the easy option, but when I think just a little more I know in my mind the final outcome I would like for the situation. However, getting to that outcome isn't usually about one single decision. Usually there are a whole series of decisions that have to be made. Some of them are of a medium size, a size you can easily recognise and answer.
Then there are those very small decisions, the ones that are more subconscious than conscious. You might not recognise them straight away, but when someone else makes one of those small decisions on your behalf, then I believe you realise you have far more thoughts and feelings on the matter at hand than you let on.
It isn't that other people make these decisions to intentionally annoy or upset you. The fact is they just aren't mind readers. They are usually just doing what they think is best. And herein is my point... It’s what THEY think is best!
I don't always get it right, but the decisions I make that affect my life come from within.
From experience I have found that dealing with those mistakes is much easier and less painful than dealing with the resentment and frustration that comes from not taking an active role whenever possible, in things that affect my life.
For those of you who still feel that fear, you don't have to start on big decisions. Start taking charge of your happiness in small ways and build up from that. Before you know it, your happiness won't be in the hands of fate but at your own fingertips.
If my thoughts have resonated with you then I am happy because I truly believe your happiness is in your hands.
Love,
Cate